The Spanking Controversy
"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him." - Proverbs 13:24
For about 25 years, most child psychologists opposed any form of corporal punishment, but it seems they are now beginning to admit that spanking actually has some benefits. Of course, God's Word has told us that for several thousand years. He is clear: If we withhold corporal punishment from our children, we hate our children. But if we love our children, we discipline them consistently. So what are some guidelines when it comes to spanking? Keep these things in mind.
* Spanking should not take place unless boundaries have been set, warnings given, and your child has willfully defied you.
* Spanking should never be done in anger. And if we do spank out of anger, we're called to ask their forgiveness. When I made this mistake with my boys, I'd say, "Look, I want to ask your forgiveness. You deserved the spanking, but I was wrong to get angry."
* Spanking should never bring injury. Physical abuse is always wrong.
* Spankings are most apropos from about two to ten years old. After that, they lose their effectiveness, and other approaches need to take place.
* After a child receives a spanking, be sure to make the most of the teachable moment, so they know why - and always reassure them of your love.
God disciplines his children (Hebrews 12) and He clearly calls parents to administer discipline, diligently, lovingly, and in a way that the child learns to do what is right on their own. It's good that the psychologists are catching on again.
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11 Comments
I am gald to hear that from a western writer.As Asian, we do not believe in sparing the rod. I remember many years ago an Amercian boy was canned for vandalism in Asia and it created so much debate. Well...I was glad that the government did not give in to those criticism. Til date, I have never spank my daughters but the rod was always there when they were younger. To remind them the possible consequences of disobedience. - jess
Man, somebody should have told my Dad that spanking after 10 yrs old has a reduced effectiveness. That way I could have kept on acting like a fool and just recieved a "time out." - Austin
thank you for this most inspirational devotion. - michelle fields
I agree with spanking. If we do not discipline our children while they are young, when they are older the system will give the corporal punishment. - Pat
I'm so glad for this particular devotion today. If our children do something wrong, then we are held accountable and yet we are not supposed to discipline them in the way we see is proper. This is a contradiction. I'm glad that child psychologists are finally starting to see the light. - jag
Spanking is like anything else in life where one can step over the line and it becomes abuse. Like alcoholism, gambling and whatever else. It's up to individual to use best judgement and there is nothing wrong with it. Sure got my attention when I was young! - Matthew
I remember when I was a child, just the threat of the switch was enough for me to tow the line. I so agree with Matthew that anything can become a sin if overdone or done incorrectly. Even constantly putting someone in "time out" can be abusive if overdone and done cruelly. Verbal repremand can be abusive if done incorrectly. Nothing should be done out of anger. Totally removing the choice of spanking in my opinion just leads to Alec Baldwin type tyraids. - christ follower
To everything there is a season....a time to spank and a time to refrain from spanking. I believe if a little one runs out into the street a spanking is in order immediately because the consequence of running into the street could be instant death without any time for discussion. As my child got older and I said to not leave a toy out or it would be gone then when it got left out the toy was put into the trash can never to be seen again. He asked for a spanking rather than losing the toy. But the loss of the toy was more effective at that point. Parents need to be aware of the season in which their child is operating to know the best loving discipline that will help them to mature into responsible people. - Janice
Great point, Janice. We have two little ones, and up to now we've not spanked. We use the "naughty spot" (like Supernanny), which actually works pretty well if done correctly, and we take away privileges, as well. It's not that we have anything against spanking if done appropriately, and we've not ruled it out. It's just never seemed to fit for us. I can't recall ever getting spanked as a child. My mom would mention or even pull out the "wooden spoon" as a threat, but I never got wacked that I recall. Either way, kids need boundaries and there needs to be a consequence when they cross the line. - RickY
The first thing we need to understand is that yes there is a difference between a spanking and a beating. I have received many spanking when I was a child, (we called them whoopings when they were a little to hard) but they didn't kill me. I used to say I was scared of my Dad but as I grew older I realized it was that I learned to respect him. I was scared to disapoint him and I didn't want a spanking so I tried hard not to misbehave. Yes I spanked my children when they were small but as they matured the spanking stopped and each of them have turned into great parents and adults. God punishes us when we disobey him and he expects us to disipline our children. Just remember when our anger starts to rise we need to back off and compose our selves and then face the problem at hand. I have learned this as Pastoring, then things goes much smoother. God bless all. - Jerry
My last spanking was at age 17, just one month before I enlisted in the Marine Corps. I deserved the spanking - I was living in a childrens' home - and had deserved more licks than I received.
Back then we guys complained about the licks we got. Now when we get together, we brag about the number of licks we got. I'd say we are catching on to the benfits of appropriate spanking. - Michael Martin